


This isn't you

by Seraph_Novak



Series: Destiel One-Shots [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Casifer, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Coda, Hopeful Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, One Shot, Possession, Post-Episode: s11e10 The Devil in the Details, Shared vessel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 23:52:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5805214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seraph_Novak/pseuds/Seraph_Novak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's doesn't take long for Lucifer's facade to crack, but how will Dean react?<br/>I only proof-read this once, so it's probably really messy... I just wanted to contribute to all of these wonderful codas! Spoilers for S11E10.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This isn't you

Every moment spent in the bunker prickled his skin with new dread. He'd warned Lucifer not to approach the Winchesters, not to hurt them. But the archangel had insisted; he was the one behind the wheel, after all.

Castiel knew who Lucifer was waiting for. The devil's thoughts were partly his own from now on, of course. But he didn't know _why_ Lucifer would want to speak to Dean, of all people. Surely he'd only be interested in his true vessel, Sam. There were very few reasons why Lucifer would be waiting for the elder Winchester and every possibility made Castiel feel sick.

_Oh. Here he comes, now._

**_You will not harm him, Lucifer, or I'll –_ **

_Hush, brother. Lest I snap his neck with_ your _bare hands._

"Cas." Dean acknowledged "Finally decided to show up, huh?"

In the silence of their vessel, Lucifer snorted.

_Not much of a charmer, is he?_

Dean was looking at them blankly, awaiting an answer, some kind of greeting – _anything_ "So? Any news?"

"The darkness is still in the wind."

"Yeah, well." Dean said behind a tight-lipped smile "No surprise there, though."

"No signs of Metatron, either. It seems he's… laying low, for now."

Dean turned his back to them, shoulders tense and tone clipped "Well, if you hadn't so graciously let the son of a bitch go, we wouldn't have to worry, would we?"

Castiel squirmed under Lucifer's control. He'd known this conversation was long overdue, that he and Dean had needed to sort things out for a while now. But the hunter was never willing to open up once and for all and Castiel was always too afraid to push.

**_Please, Lucifer. Let me –_ **

_I'll take this one, Castiel. No worries._

**Lucifer –**

"You know what?" His lips began to move, only _his_ words wouldn't come out; it was all Lucifer now "I don't think I like your attitude. _Boy_."

Dean turned with a frown "What the hell are you –?"

"But, it's always the same, right? Ickle Castiel so _desperately_ trying to fit in with the 'Winchester clan' that he's willing to go _all the way_ , ya know what I mean?"

A flicker of realization – confused, hesitant – crossed Dean's face. Already, his eyes seemed brighter, alight like two flames.

**_He knows. Why did you do that?!_ **

_Please, Castiel! Leave the grownups to talk._

"Who the hell are you?"

"I," Lucifer feigned innocence, hand pressed flat to his heart with mock hurt "What do you mean, Deanie-weanie?"

"Who the _fuck_ are you, cos you sure as _hell_ ain't Cas?!"

_Oh, how romantic._

**_Leave him be, Lucifer! I'm begging you –_ **

"Take a wild guess, buckaroo." Lucifer smirked, inching towards Dean with sly footsteps "Well, I'll give you a hint… Hot as hell, yet cold as ice. Extremely charming, but totally narcissistic –"

"Lucifer."

**Please!**

"Someone give the hairless ape a prize."

"Get the hell outta him!" Dean growled; it was enough for him to believe that the hunter _actually_ cared.

_Ouch. Possessive, much?_

**_Please… Don't hurt him, Lucifer._ **

"He's here, you know." Lucifer said, tapping at his head with a slow smile "Up here. _Begging_ me not to harm you."

**_Don't. You._ Dare.**

"And every fibre of his being is fighting for control. He's beginning to regret the… _rash_ decision of letting me in in the first place, ya see."

Dean reached the far wall, backing up as much as it would allow. Through Lucifer's eyes, Castiel could make out the hazy vision of his friend reaching for the blade in his back pocket. The weapon was more or less useless against angels – let alone _arch_ angels – and Castiel found himself screaming out to Dean.

**_No! Run, Dean!_ Run!**

"Not gonna work, Dean." Lucifer said, spotting the blade between the hunter's fingertips "If the colt couldn't kill me, do you honestly think a _kitchen knife_ will?"

"I'm kinda out of options here."

_Well, he's not bad to look at, Castiel. But did you really fall for_ this?

A cold chill glazed over his grace, suffocating the last shred of self-control he'd obtained.

**_You… How did you –?_ **

_I'm inside your grapefruit, Castiel! Remember?_

**_But –_ **

_And I can hear every single thought, detect every sense of longing…_

**_Please. Don't –_ **

"He's got it bad, Dean."

**_No! Please!_ **

"He loves you more than anything in the entirety of this _petty_ universe."

**_Stop!_ **

"And after centuries upon centuries of following orders, listening to daddy's every command, all it took for poor Castiel was one _human_."

**_Stop…_ **

"All it took was the bittersweet love for none other than the _righteous man_ for this _robot_ to question everything he'd ever known –"

**_Please._ **

"– And fall – _literally_ – for the charms of a Winchester. Sad, really."

Castiel clawed at the invisible chains binding him, desperate to seek control and makes things right. He could see Dean – pale and silent in the corner, not saying a word. He could practically hear the clogs turning in his head; all he wanted was to swipe away the dawning realization before it ruined everything.

_Please, Castiel. There's no need._

**_How could you –?!_ **

"Still, he's pleading with me to stop. I don't think he wanted you to know that little secret, if I'm honest. My bad…"

Dean dropped his hand from the blade, swallowing thickly and fixing Lucifer with a stony glare "Let him go, douchebag."

"So eloquent!"

"Cos if you don't, well… We're gonna win. You realize that?"

Lucifer laughed internally, the sound sending tendrils of ice down Castiel's spine.

_There's a fine line between optimism and stupidity._

**_Dean is strong._ **

_But are_ you _, Castiel? That's the question._

"Cas?" Dean trod carefully "You there, buddy?"

**_Yes, Dean! I'm here!_ **

"Castiel's not _home_ right now." Lucifer hissed "Leave a message?"

"Cas, man… I need you to _fight_ , okay? Kick this son of a bitch to the curb and take control!"

**_It's not that simple, Dean!_ **

"He's not strong enough, you _ape_!"

**_I am –!_ **

"You don't know him that well, then." Dean spoke, so sure of himself.

A warm fluttering arose in Castiel's chest. Dean thought he was strong enough, so surely he was! He _could_ be. All he needed was one final push.

_He doesn't love you, Castiel!_

**_That's not –_ **

_He could never love_ you, _of all things._

"Cas! Whatever messed up shit he's telling you, it's not true!"

Lucifer snorted "I beg to differ."

**_Dean!_ **

"He's lying, Cas! He's trying to psyche you out! Make you weak! Don't let him!"

_This one's starting to get on my nerves._

**_Don't you –!_ **

With one swift flick of the wrist, Dean was sent flying across the room. Castiel watched in horror as the hunter's body cracked against the wall, falling limp to the floor with a pitiful gasp.

**Dean!**

"Oh," Lucifer chuckled "Castiel didn't like that very much."

"Cas –"

"Hush, now." Lucifer snapped his fingers and Dean began to choke, dark red globs of blood oozing from his lips.

**_No! Stop! Please –!_ **

"Quit your whining, Castiel."

Dean clutched at his chest, groaning "Cas… you've got to _fight_."

"Enough!"

Dean's body was plastered against the wall, limbs pinned down with incredible force.

**_Leave him be!_ **

"Cas!"

**Stop it!**

"Buddy…"

**Please!**

"You gotta hear me, man."

**_I'm here, Dean! I'm here!_ **

"You gotta _listen_ to me, okay? Trust me!"

**_I trust you! Always._ **

"I love you!"

The world stopped, everything slowing down to an agonizing pace of blurred limbs and silent shouts. Dean cried out against the pain searing through his tattered flesh as Lucifer began tearing at him. The blood was dark and thick, splattered across the walls like some abstract piece of artwork Lucifer would likely hang on his wall with pride.

Castiel screamed.

**_Stop! Stop it,_ please! _DEAN!_**

"Cas!"

**_I-I love him! Please! I love him! Don't –_ **

"Love is never enough!" Lucifer roared, fist colliding with Dean's jaw with a sickening crunch "I loved my father more than _anything_ and he cast me away! He chose these _creatures_ over his own children! _We_ were his first family, Castiel! And he chose _them_!"

**_YOU'RE KILLING HIM!_ **

"LET HIM DIE!"

Castiel watched in horror as Dean was thrown across the room, sliding along the table with a crash. Like a ragdoll, he fell motionless to the ground. Books and lights were cast across the bunker, glass littering the floor mercilessly.

**DEAN!**

Lucifer didn't bother addressing him personally, choosing to speak aloud with venom lacing his words "You will watch him breathe his last _breath_ , Castiel!"

**_I won't let you!_ **

"You will watch the one you love most _snap_ between your hands!"

**_Dean!_ **

"The one who loves you back in return! _Dead_. All because of your own _selfish_ insecurities!"

"Cas…"

Lucifer whipped around to face Dean. The hunter rose to his feet, legs shaky and unstable as he gripped the table with white knuckles. Something like pride mixed with astonished awe pinched at Castiel's grace; Dean just wouldn't give up hope.

"Will you Winchesters _ever_ die?!"

A new wave of power struck Dean down. Lucifer chuckled low in his throat, clenching his fist in accordance to the pain twisting Dean's innards to mush.

"Cas!" Dean gasped "I _need_ you, remember?!"

He was suddenly overcome with memories – a blinding flash of light that surrounded him, engulfing his very being with a sense of warmth and security. He could see the watered-down landscapes of Purgatory, the murky grey light pooling at their feet by the clearing. Dean was hugging him, holding him close, smiling into his shoulder.

_"Cas, buddy… I need you."_

A dark and dusty crypt replaced the memory. Castiel very nearly choked out a sob at the sight of his own fists pummelling Dean's face. His flesh was bruised and bloody, eyes barely open as he clutched frantically at the sleeve of Castiel's trenchcoat and said:

_"I need you."_

And more hurried, fleeting moments passed by – prayers and phone calls, absent messages of longing that intensified the guilt coiling in his stomach.  

_"I need you here."_

Castiel cried out, thrashing against the confines of Lucifer's trap.

_"I need you."_

A speck of light amongst the darkness – so bright it made him flinch – slowly expanded in the emptiness surrounding him.

_"I need you, Cas."_

He reached for the light, white-hot pain squeezing at his grace.

_"I love you."_

And then he was back. The control was strained, only temporary, but he was seeing Dean with his own eyes again. Before he could even blink, his legs were tearing forward, grace at the ready.

"Dean!"

The hunter's eyes shone with familiarity. Somewhere beneath the blood, Castiel was sure he could see him smiling "Cas."

"I'm so sorry, Dean!" He dropped to the ground to cup Dean's face "I-I thought I was doing the right thing! The darkness… Lucifer said –"

"Cas," Dean latched onto Castiel's hands "It's fine."

"It's not –"

"You're an idiot," Dean grinned crookedly, barely hiding the wince that accompanied it "But I meant what I said."

_I will tear you both to_ shreds!

Lucifer's voice was distant and muted, but still there. Castiel shivered.

"I can't stay."

"I know."

"I'm sorry…"

Dean tightened his grip slightly "I love you, Cas."

"Dean –"

"Fuck knows why it took me this long to catch on, but… Y-You know that, right?"

He wanted to shake his head – to say _no_ , I don't believe it. Because he didn't. He was expendable, after all. Dean didn't need him, didn't care for him to the same extent he did Sam. The tactic was clever, if not a little cruel. Dean knew from experience that love was the only thing powerful enough to take on the devil, just for a little while. But he didn't love Castiel. Not really.

Instead, he smiled, letting his grace wash over Dean's wounds and soothe the aching pain "I know."

He could feel Lucifer creeping up, ready to take control once more.

"He's coming," Castiel warned "I'll leave… Don't let him back into the bunker. The warding should hold him off, but –"

Warm lips swallowed whatever words were still stumbling from his mouth. A hand circled his wrist, pulling him down gently whilst the other searched the short wisps of dark hair at the nape of his neck. He could smell leather, gasoline, books, pie – _Dean_.

It was enough to squash down Lucifer's fight, for now.

"Dean," He mumbled against the kiss "Don't…"

He pulled back, watched Dean's face crumple and eyes narrow.

"I'm not an idiot," Dean brushed a stray hair from Castiel's cheek "I know you don't believe me."

"Dean –"

"But it's true. Maybe it's _always_ been true…"

Castiel sighed "You don't need to do me any favours, Dean. I understand that you –"

"I. _Love_. You."

He allowed himself to be pulled into a second kiss, this one softer and more delicate; this one was the goodbye, he supposed.

"You know how many people I've said that to?" Dean asked between gentle nips "No one. Not in the way that counts, anyway."

A flash of white in the back of his eyes sent him falling backwards. He winced, although he felt no pain. The reaction was so very human, his chest ached.

"Cas?!"

"He… He's coming!" Castiel gritted out, gathering himself together and heading for the door "I have to –"

"Wait!"

Dean palmed his neck, bringing him in for one last, feather light touch of lips.

"I'm gonna get you back."

Castiel smiled against his hunter's mouth, happy to bask in the blissful delusion "I hope so."

"You, me, Sam. Team Free Will, huh? We'll gank Lucifer, _and_ the darkness."

"And then?"

Dean swallowed audibly, hesitation crossing his features "Well… then we see how things go, yeah?"

"You and me?"

"That part goes without saying," His lips quirked into a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes "There's no breaking a profound bond, right?"

Castiel nuzzled into the warmth of Dean's shoulder, inhaling the scent he was afraid would soon be lost to him forever "Absolutely."

And then he was gone, the ghost of Dean's fingers carding through his hair still vivid in his memory. Lucifer took control before they even hit the ground. His power was like a vice around Castiel's grace, a strict reminder of who was in charge.

_You're playing a dangerous game, Castiel._

Somewhere, deep in the dusty corner of Lucifer's control, Castiel smiled.

**_Yes. And I'm going to win._ **


End file.
